LEMUR says Happy Solstice!

Happy solstice!
I am very happy about how the nonreligious spirituality of LEMUR (one of my dissociative parts) is slowly sinking in into all of my parts. This is something that has kept me going when I had no identity and no sense of self, when I gave my self away to just realize that I am carried, that my body is just as much part of the natural world as trees and clouds and that I breathe anyway without a self. I know that it was quite pathological dissociation actually, because I was not really in my body so my sense of self was a very thought-concept one which of course could only limit my being, but still LEMUR was seeking connection and healing in curious ways and in the end we got around all the way and here we are now. Today I have a sense of self that is very much embodied and in touch with my senses and my motions, so now I am happy to not have to always throw my self away to be back in touch with the instincts that keep me going, today I can be shallow and still be deep. But I still and will always remember the essential realization of the dangers of self-concepts and the importance of feeling that I want not only to breathe but also to let my body breathe me. Trusting the body, trusting connection, trusting that the processes from which my being emerges are when I am not, trusting to rest on whatever level makes sense in the moment. When a wave realizes it is the one ocean waving in a particular form, the wave can rest while in full joyful curious caring motion. I am a pantheist. I am also an atheist. I don’t believe in god. I don’t believe I am nothing. Both determinism and free will are extremes that as such only exist as concepts, they are aspects of perception based on how broad or narrow our sense of self is in a given moment. In reality, among the connections everything influences and everything is influenced. Our individual form is not isolated, and our individual form is not the whole. Our individual form is a part of and an emergent process of the whole, it is the whole but in an individual form. There are many gods, gods are an emergent pattern of brains like stories and games. Yet when we forget that gods are just another story and just another game, gods can be so dangerous and because of that I clearly renounce god, because the confusion of a created god with reality is an act of separation whereas in reality everything is connected. No religion shall claim that their specific and limited definition of god and the authority it is alledged to impose can at the same time let their god be the whole and everything and thereby make people question their brains to the core. I see divinity in the mundane and mundanity in divinity. I need no religion, for I am part of the community of life. I believe that everything is connected and everything is many but also one, and I believe that we are both parts in the whole and the whole as parts. When all is too much we trust that which we are not and rest in the whole, and when we feel rooted in connection again, we flow with curiosity.

 

Image of a juniper tree. Source: https://www.pinterest.at/pin/300685712619872981/